There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so that wasnt chicken after all
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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