I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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