i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
