see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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