Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
