How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
