ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
