How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
