i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i out mim tonsoeep
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