Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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