i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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