I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
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He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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