I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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