i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
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Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
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I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."