Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.