Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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