Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
