At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
