she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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