Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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