i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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