I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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