I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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