so that wasnt chicken after all
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
