Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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