so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
