I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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