We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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