I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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