My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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