can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
