goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
