Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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