Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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