What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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