i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
