Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
there's paper in my vomit.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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