I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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