she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
