Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.