I look better un-naked...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I understand Curling. That high.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
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You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
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He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower