There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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