I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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