i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i was born a porn star she said
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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