There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
