it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
