i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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