Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
stop calling my apartment porn island.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
