wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
