You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
