It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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