Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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