VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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