my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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