She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
