Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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