the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
