I met the friendliest cop last night
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
