When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
