I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
