He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
