She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
