i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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