i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
