I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
