when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
