He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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