She said her name was "party"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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