my room smells like sperm. sweet.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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