is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
