This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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